Posted in life, motivational

Toxic people in your life

Just as environment has its toxins and so is humanity.

In the Philippines, Mental health has a negative connotation so I’ll be using emotional and mental health interchangeably.

“People inspire you, or they drain you

— pick them wisely.”

Hans F. Hansen

What is a Toxic Person?

Toxicity is not considered an illness but there could be underlying causes or trauma behind their toxicity. But how will you know if they are toxic? A toxic person is anyone whose behavior gives negativity and upset to your life. They consistently cause you a negative response and you feel uncomfortable around them.

Before I give you the types, here are toxic behaviors you watch out for;

  • Negativity 
  • Cruelty
  • Gossip
  • Victim Syndrome
  • Drama
  • Craziness
  • Constant lying 
  • Being Manipulative 
  • Enjoy Others Suffering
  • Never Taking Ownership (non-admission of faults) 
  • Refusing to Apologize
  • Being Judgmental
  • Unreliable 
  • Inconsiderate

Just to be clear, we are all imperfect in one way or another. The difference with toxic people is that they “always” manifest the behaviors mentioned above and has destroyed relationships and brought conflicts.

Toxic people defy logic

Forbes.com

I’m studying Psychology because I’d like to know how to deal with different kinds of people. As an entrepreneur, I face a myriad of people everyday. Not to pat myself at the back, but I know I’m a good-hearted person so I need to protect myself and set boundaries. I believe that truly toxic ones are not worth my time and I feel like a portion of my life is deducted or shortened as I deal with them.

Believe it or not, there are 10 types of toxic people. Yes! that many. Maintain your peace and emotional health by being aware of their kind.

10 Types of Toxic People

  1. The Gossiper – we have a term here in the Philippines – “Marites” not sure how they derived that name but gossiper a.k.a. Marites is on the top of the list. What’s sad is they derive pleasure from talking about other people and they seem to celebrate with others’ misfortunes.
  2. The Temperamental – they seem to have anger management issues. It’s also difficult to deal with them as they don’t know how to handle their own emotions and can become explosive.
  3. The Victim – they see themselves as victims. Some may shower you with (superfluous) gifts, sort of bribery then they will open up to you. And you empathize with them, kind-hearted ones can easily fall for this trap.
  4. The Self-Absorbed – inconsiderate and a total narcissist. Fact check – they’re only using you for their benefit.
  5. The Envious – self explanatory and I’ve met many. Perfect to pair with “Marites” as they try to bring down one’s reputation.
  6. The Manipulator – they are a pro in manipulating those around them to get what they want. Another overlapping sign is when they excessively give you gifts and make you ask the question – “for what?”
  7. The Seductive, Overly-Dramatic Person – quoted this from Psychology Today. They’re fun to be with, often the life of the party. They are charming, seductive, physically attractive and do things to attract attention. They focus a great deal of time on outward appearance but really insecure deep inside.
  8. The Narcissistic-Aggressive Person – another from Psychology Today. Coming from the word – narcissism, these individuals are abusive, verbally or physically. They are selfish and aggressive, tend to be adventurous and risk-takers.
  9. The Judgemental – have you heard of the saying – “don’t rain on my parade” The judgemental are quick to tell you what’s wrong about your decision. They only see your faults and look down on others. Nothing is ever good enough for them.
  10. The Arrogant – arrogance is false-confidence and always masks insecurities.

Everything begins with awareness.

If you know someone who is toxic and there’s no way to avoid them, don’t fret. You may not be able to physically avoid them but you can set boundaries. First identify them and maintain a safe “emotional” distance. Expect the behavior/s mentioned above so you’ll be well prepared to “rationally” face them. You are now equipped but don’t ever try to engage or mix into the chaos. Call them out if they do something wrong to you.

Always choose peace. Respond and don’t react, I know it’s easier said than done but I’m just being optimistic here. For normal people like you and me, there’s hope and peace.

Posted in Catholic faith, faith, prayer, prayers

Stations of the Cross

Stations of the Cross ✝️ composed by St. Alphonsus Liguori

Opening Prayer:

ALL: My Lord, Jesus Christ,

You have made this journey to die for me with unspeakable love;

and I have so many times ungratefully abandoned You. | But now I love You with all my heart;

and, because I love You, I am sincerely sorry for ever having offended You.

Pardon me, my God, and permit me to accompany You on this journey.

You go to die for love of me;

I want, my beloved Redeemer, to die for love of You.

My Jesus, I will live and die always united to You.

St. Vitus Cathedral

The First Station of the Cross : Pilates condemns Jesus to die

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how Jesus Christ, after being scourged and crowned with thorns, was unjustly condemned by Pilate to die on the cross. (Kneel)

R: My adorable Jesus,

it was not Pilate;

no, it was my sins that condemned You to die.

I beseech You, by the merits of this sorrowful journey,

to assist my soul on its journey to eternity.

I love You, beloved Jesus;

I love You more than I love myself.

With all my heart I repent of ever having offended You.

Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Lourdes, France

The Second Station : Jesus accepts His cross

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider Jesus as He walked this road with the cross on His shoulders, thinking of us, and offering to His Father in our behalf, the death He was about to suffer. (Kneel)

R: My most beloved Jesus,

I embrace all the sufferings You have destined for me until death.

I beg You, by all You suffered in carrying Your cross,

to help me carry mine with Your perfect peace and resignation.

I love You, Jesus, my love;

I repent of ever having offended You.

Never let me separate myself from You again.

Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Lourdes, France

The Third Station : Jesus falls the first time

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider the first fall of Jesus. Loss of blood from the scourging and crowing with thorns had so weakened Him that He could hardly walk; and yet He had to carry that great load upon His shoulders. As the soldiers struck Him cruelly, He fell several times under the heavy cross. (Kneel)

R: My beloved Jesus, / it was not the weight of the cross / but the weight of my sins which made You suffer so much. / By the merits of this first fall, / save me from falling into mortal sin. / I love You, O my Jesus, with all my heart; / I am sorry that I have offended You. / May I never offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Fatima, Portugal

The Fourth Station : Jesus meets His afflicted mother

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how the Son met his Mother on His way to Calvary. Jesus and Mary gazed at each other and their looks became as so many arrows to wound those hearts which loved each other so tenderly (Kneel)

R: My most loving Jesus, / by the pain You suffered in this meeting / grant me the grace of being truly devoted to Your most holy Mother. / And You, my Queen, who was overwhelmed with sorrow, / obtain for me by Your prayers / a tender and a lasting remembrance of the passion of Your divine Son. / I love You, Jesus, my Love, above all things. / I repent of ever having offended You. / Never allow me to offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Sevilla, Spain

The Fifth Station : Simon helps Jesus carry the cross

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how weak and weary Jesus was. At each step He was at the point of expiring. Fearing that He would die on the way when they wished Him to die the infamous death of the cross, they forced Simon of Cyrene to help carry the cross after Our Lord. (Kneel)

R: My beloved Jesus / I will not refuse the cross as Simon did: / I accept it and embrace it. / I accept in particular the death that is destined for me / with all the pains that may accompany it. / I unite it to Your death / and I offer it to You. / You have died for love of me; / I will die for love of You and to please You. / Help me by Your grace. / I love You, Jesus, my Love; / I repent of ever having offended You. / Never let me offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Granada, Spain

The Sixth Station : Veronica offers her veil to Jesus

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider the compassion of the holy woman, Veronica. Seeing Jesus in such distress, His face bathed in sweat and blood, she presented Him with her veil. Jesus wiped His face, and left upon the cloth the image of his sacred countenance. (Kneel)

R: My beloved Jesus, / Your face was beautiful before You began this journey; / but, now, it no longer appears beautiful / and is disfigured with wounds and blood. / Alas, my soul also was once beautiful / when it received Your grace in Baptism; / but I have since disfigured it with my sins. / You alone, my Redeemer, can restore it to its former beauty. / Do this by the merits of Your passion; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Zaragoza, Spain

The Seventh Station : Jesus falls the second time

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how the second fall of Jesus under His cross renews the pain in all the wounds of the head and members of our afflicted Lord. (Kneel)

R: My most gentle Jesus, / how many times You have forgiven me; / and how many times I have fallen again and begun again to offend You! / By the merits of this second fall, / give me the grace to persevere in Your love until death. / Grant, that in all my temptations, I may always have recourse to You. / I love You, Jesus, my Love with all my heart; / I am sorry that I have offended You. / Never let me offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Virgen del Pilar, Spain

The Eighth Station : Jesus speaks to the women

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how the women wept with compassion seeing Jesus so distressed and dripping with blood as he walked along. Jesus said to them, “Weep not so much for me, but rather for Your children.” (Kneel)

R: My Jesus, laden with sorrows, / I weep for the sins which I have committed against You / because of the punishment I deserve for them; / and, still more, because of the displeasure they have caused You / who have loved me with an infinite love. / It is Your love, more than the fear of hell, / which makes me weep for my sins. / My Jesus, I love You more than myself; / I am sorry that I have offended You. / Never allow me to offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Lourdes, France

The Ninth Station : Jesus falls the third time

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how Jesus Christ fell for the third time. He was extremely weak and the cruelty of His executioners was excessive; they tried to hasten His steps though He hardly had strength to move. (Kneel)



R: My outraged Jesus, / by the weakness You suffered in going to Calvary, / give me enough strength to overcome all human respect / and all my evil passions which have led me to despise Your friendship. / I love You, Jesus my Love, with all my heart; / I am sorry for ever having offended You. / Never permit me to offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Lisbon, Portugal

The Tenth Station : Jesus is stripped of His garments

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how Jesus was violently stripped of His clothes by His executioners. The inner garments adhered to his lacerated flesh and the soldiers tore them off so roughly that the skin came with them. Have pity for your Savior so cruelly treated and tell Him: (Kneel)

R: My innocent Jesus, / by the torment You suffered in being stripped of Your garments, / help me to strip myself of all attachment for the things of earth / that I may place all my love in You who are so worthy of my love. / I love You, O Jesus, with all my heart; / I am sorry for ever having offended You. / Never let me offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Granada, Spain

The Eleventh Station : Jesus is nailed to the cross

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider Jesus, thrown down upon the cross, He stretched out His arms and offered to His eternal Father the sacrifice of His life for our salvation. They nailed His hands and feet, and then, raising the cross, left Him to die in anguish. (Kneel)

R: My despised Jesus, / nail my heart to the cross / that it may always remain there to love You and never leave You again. / I love You more than myself; / I am sorry for ever having offended You. / Never permit me to offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Fatima, Portugal

The Twelfth Station : Jesus dies upon the cross

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how Your Jesus, after three hours of agony on the cross, is finally overwhelmed with suffering and, abandoning Himself to the weight of His body, bows His head and dies. (Kneel)

R: My dying Jesus, / I devoutly kiss the cross on which You would die for love of me. / I deserve, because of my sins, to die a terrible death; / but Your death is my hope. / By the merits of Your death, / give me the grace to die embracing Your feet and burning with love of You. / I yield my soul into Your hands. / I love You with my whole heart. / I am sorry that I have offended You. / Never let me offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Fatima, Portugal

The Thirteenth Station : Jesus is taken down from the cross

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how, after Our Lord had died, He was taken down from the cross by two of His disciples, Joseph and Nicodemus, and placed in the arms of His afflicted Mother. She received Him with unutterable tenderness and pressed Him close to her bosom. (Kneel)

R: O Mother of Sorrows, / for the love of Your Son, / accept me as Your servant and pray to Him for me, / And You, my Redeemer, since you have died for me, / allow me to love You, / for I desire only You and nothing more. / I love You, Jesus my Love, / and I am sorry that I have offended You. / Never let me offend You again. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Granada, Spain

The Fourteenth Station : Jesus is placed in the sepulcher

V: We adore You, O Christ, and we praise You. (Genuflect)

R: Because, by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world. (Rise)

V: Consider how the disciples carried the body of Jesus to its burial, while His holy Mother went with them and arranged it in the sepulcher with her own hands. They then closed the tomb and all departed. (Kneel)

R: Oh, my buried Jesus, / I kiss the stone that closes You in. / But You gloriously did rise again on the third day. / I beg You by Your resurrection that I may be raised gloriously on the last day, / to be united with You in heaven, to praise You and love You forever. / I love You, Jesus, and I repent of ever having offended You. / Grant that I may love You always; and then do with me as You will.

(Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory be.)

Prayer to Jesus Christ Crucified

My good and dear Jesus,

I kneel before You,

asking You most earnestly

to engrave upon my heart

a deep and lively faith, hope, and charity,

with true repentance for my sins,

and a firm resolve to make amends.

As I reflect upon Your five wounds,

and dwell upon them

with deep compassion and grief,

I recall, good Jesus,

the words the Prophet David spoke

long ago concerning Yourself:

“They pierced My hands and My feet;

they have numbered all My bones.”

All photos were taken by me from sacred places or churches we visited in various countries in Europe.

♥️

Posted in kdrama, life, love

My Roommate is a Gumiho – current fave

Every night my hubby and I enjoy our mini date watching Kdramas. And no this is not a paid ad (I wish hehe), you can stream Kdramas in Netflix, iQ, Viki, etc.

We just finished – My Roommate is a Gumiho and it was perfect! ❤ ❤ ❤

Because I’m a sucker for poetry, romantic, almost cheesy, & sentimental lines so I’m sharing the letter of Sir Gumiho. You won’t be needing to playback the last episode to jot down its beautiful words,,, ur wc 🙂

Spoiler warning!

I don’t think I can say this to you in person, so I’m writing a letter hoping it won’t be delivered.

Over the years, I’ve been through so much. Because I’ve lived long, I’ve always been tired. Sometimes mornings are tedious. Until I met you, it was always like that.

You were my only joy. You were the only the reason I waited for the morning. Perhaps I knew it from the beginning that you would change my destiny.

– 오리신

We really enjoyed this drama and at the back of my mind I saw myself in Dam’s, having my husband who’s years older than me and had a lonely past. While I was a college student like Dam kind, honest, caring and cheerful.

❤ ❤️

Posted in kdrama

The light in your eyes

There’s one Kdrama that is hands down the ultimate tearjerker. No episode that I didn’t tear up, but this is not to discourage you from watching it.

I got the idea of adding this Kdrama to my playlist by Seungkwan of Seventeen. What a perfect timing that I’m into Psychology and currently studying online. The light in your eyes in my opinion depicts areas in psychology such as anxiety, trauma, dementia (alzheimer) and was beautifully portrayed in the story of it’s main characters. Not here to leave a review but I’ll be sharing the ending quotation which is really motivating and uplifting.

My life is blighted by misfortunes at times,

but there are also happy times.

They say that life is nothing but a dream,

but I’m still grateful for my life.

Even if you’re struggling right now,

everyone has the right to live his everyday.

Don’t waste the present regretting the past,

worrying about the future.

life is worth living…

– Kim Hejya

Posted in life

K-pop

K-Pop is the global face of Korean pop culture. I myself has become a huge fan of K-pop from BTS, Seventeen, Blackpink and Twice (list goes on…)

Without further ado, let me share my 2021-2022 playlist from my favorites to those new in Kpop. ♥️

hello fellow army!

🙂

Posted in life

Character Strengths

VIA Character Strengths

In my Positive Psychology class by University of Pennsylvania, we are asked to take the VIA Character Strengths. Unlike the popular MBTI, this test is about character, our signature strengths. If you are curious to take it, link is here. It is free with a payment option for extra features.

Big 5 Character Traits

  1. Openness
  2. Conscientiousness
  3. Extraversion
  4. Agreeableness
  5. Neuroticism

Allow me to share the results of mine –

According to VIA Survey:

  1. Spirituality (transcendence) – having coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe; knowing where one fits within the larger scheme; having beliefs about the meaning of life that shape conduct and provide comfort.
  2. Honesty (courage) – speaking the truth but more broadly presenting oneself in a genuine way and acting in a sincere way; being without pretense; taking responsibility for one’s feelings and actions.
  3. Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence (transcendence) – noticing and appreciating beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in various domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience
  4. Fairness (justice) – treating all people the same according to notions of fairness and justice; not letting feelings bias decisions about others; giving everyone a fair chance.
  5. Curiosity(wisdom) – taking an interest in ongoing experience for its own sake; finding subjects and topics fascinating, exploring and discovering.

Remember that there’s no right or wrong answer. And your character strengths are key elements to living an authentic and meaningful life. Research shows that people who use their strengths are 18 times more likely to be flourishing than those who do not. By knowing and using your characters can help you be happier and more confident, improve areas in your life (relationships), and manage problems and stress.

Sources

  • Psychology Today
  • VIA Character Survey
  • Positive Psychology by Prof. Martin Seligman (Father of Positive Psychology – University of Pennsylvania)
Posted in Art & Music

Photography

To equally utilize both sides of my brain, I’ve decided to take up photography lessons yay! Currently taking Basic Photography by the Department of Art, Art history and Design of Michigan State University. As an artist, I love to look, appreciate and create something beautiful. It will only go to waste if I cannot manifest and show it to the world through pictures. Before that I’d like to thank my followers and I hope you’ll enjoy my photographs as I add a new section in this humble blog of mine 🙂

Posted in life

Help fight depression

Help fight Depression and watch for signs listed below. The DSM-5 outlines the following criterion to make a diagnosis of depression. The individual must have at least 5 or more of these symptoms for a minimum of 2 weeks.

1. Sad mood most of the day, nearly everyday
2. Loss of interest (hallmark of MDD)
3. Significant weight loss/gain
4. Sleep disturbance
5. Psychomotor slowness – slowing down of thought and a reduction of physical movement
6. Fatigue
7. Feelings or worthlessness, low self esteem
8. Indecisive and not being able to focus
9. Thoughts of suicide or death and/ or a suicidal attempt.

Get help:
☎️
Hope line: 0917-5584673 0918-8784673
Tawag Paglaum: 0939-9375433 0939-9365433 0927-6541629

Posted in life

Dr. Eric Berg

This is short and sweet, my life has changed for the (much) better because of Doctor Berg. Hoping you can find his videos helpful as well, so here’s the link to his channel.

Posted in faith, prayer

Serenity Prayer

A few weeks after typhoon Odette struck Cebu, I’d like to share this prayer that gives hope, strength and peace in times of difficulty.

Full version

God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

And here’s the short and my favorite version…

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to change the things I can,

and Wisdom to know the difference.

Short version

Source: Wikipedia

Long version