Category: motivational

Posted in motivational, psychology

Living with Depression & How to live a Good Life

Posted on by M Artisans

Diagnosed with depression but managing to stay hopeful. This illness doesn’t have to hinder you from living a good life.

Been in a persistent cycle of depressive episodes, and it strikes anytime, any day, even in the middle of an important event. You feel helpless.

Depressive episode is a period of depression that persists for at least two weeks. The length of an episode varies depending on the severity and individual factors, some may last up to 6-8 months.

Depression: A Widespread Illness

Depression is a prevalent illness, perhaps more widespread than commonly perceived. Even famous celebrities who have tragically taken their own lives due to depression serve as a poignant reminder of the severity of this condition. It is an issue that undeniably presents a significant challenge in our society.

There are proven ways to live better with depression (adopted from Psychology Today).

  1. Start accepting and stop resisting. It is okay if you don’t feel okay. Denying your feelings will just make it worse. Carl Jung once said, “what you resist persists.”
  2. Change the way you think about depression. Renaming this familiar foe to a more positive approach. What helps me is to keep a journal, writing my thoughts and feelings before going to bed. That way, we can keep the feelings from our head to paper.
  3. Focus your energy to self-care. One major symptom I’m experiencing is complete loss of interest and pleasure. Bathing has now become a chore, but guess what? surprisingly it changes my mood for the better. Coming out of the bathroom refreshes me both physically and emotionally.
  4. Make small daily efforts. Depression is not something we can instantly turn off. Small baby steps can and may help. There is one technique – Behavioral Activation, a psychotherapy that engages individuals in engaging or pleasant and healthy activities.

Coping with depression begins with the effort to get through each day, regardless of whether a depressive episode occurs or not. There are many ways to improve your life with depression, like talking to a friend, watching a K-drama. Either way, learn, thrive and survive… you are not alone, hugs.

Disclaimer: The information in this post does not intend to replace, dictate, or completely define the evaluation, diagnosis, and treatment of a medical professional. It is a form of sharing some personal experience and is intended solely for those seeking general information on certain conditions.
Posted in motivational, psychology

Self-blame and Depression

Posted on by M Artisans

According to PubMed Central, people with major depressive disorder (MDD) are more prone to experiencing moral emotions related to self-blame, such as guilt and shame.

DSM-IV-TR recognizes excessive or inappropriate guilt as one of the core symptoms of MDD. 

  • Disclaimer: The information in this post does not intend to replace, dictate, or completely define the evaluation, diagnosis, and treatment of a medical professional. It is a form of sharing some personal experience and is intended solely for those seeking general information on certain conditions.

Guilt is a less talked about symptom of depression. It was depicted in a Korean drama I watched – Daily Dose of Sunshine. They showed guilt in a beautiful way stemming from the protagonist’s role as a psychiatric nurse. Highly relatable as I constantly deal with sadness and self-blame almost every day.

According to Psychiatrist Gregory Brown and author of The Self-healing Mind, “Guilt is a major barrier for treatment of depressive disorders. People think – my problems aren’t big enough or so serious to warrant feeling depressed or I have money, a great family and so many other resources, I shouldn’t be feeling this way – They end up suffering in silence.”

Before depression, I used to believe that people should be content with what they have, and I couldn’t comprehend why anyone would feel depressed despite having all their needs met.

what does she have to depressed about?

Self-blaming moral emotions as per PubMed Central pertains to emotions like guilt, shame and self-contempt which may be exaggerated in mood disorders. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive and inappropriate guilt nearly everyday (American Psychiatric Association 2000).

If you’re struggling with depression, being in that same condition I know I’m unable to give advice. Despite studying psychology in the hope of finding relief, I still find myself in this state. But depression is an illness that no one wants.

Here are some tips to help you deal with guilt when you have depression;

~ Practice self kindness like positive self-talk and gratitude

~ Move and keep your mind occupied. Physical activity as simple as walking can increase your endorphins (happy hormones).

~ Keep a journal. Writing or in my case drawing is diverting my mind and thoughts to express and transform negative emotions through art.

~ Talk to someone. Remember you are not alone. A family or friend can provide you with a different perspective and talking to them can help you release and process those unwanted emotions.

Small baby steps is okay, take it easy and be kind with yourself…

❤

Posted in motivational, psychology

Cherophobia (Fear of Happiness)

Posted on by M Artisans

~ Aversion to happiness

The term comes from the Greek word “chero” or “chairo” which means “to rejoice.” Plus, the root word “phobia,” which means fear.

Disclaimer: The information in this post does not intend to replace, dictate, or completely define the evaluation, diagnosis, and treatment of a medical professional. It is a form of sharing some personal experience and is intended solely for those seeking general information on certain conditions.

When a person has cherophobia, they’re often afraid to participate in activities that are considered fun or would make them happy.

Although cherophobia is not currently recognized as a clinical disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), several studies have started to scientifically validate its existence (Joshanloo, 2014).

It seems that at this moment, I wouldn’t necessarily call it fear but rather a sense of concern. There is a worry that experiencing happiness may lead to negative consequences. You try to avoid the feelings of happiness and the consequences of being happy.

Symptoms may appear such as;

  • avoidance of social gatherings
  • experiencing anxiety at the thought of going to a joyful social gathering, like a party, concert, or other similar event
  • believing that being happy will lead to something bad happening
  • rejecting opportunities that may bring happiness or success
  • believing that happiness makes you a bad person
  • believing that disasters follow happiness

In the study developed by Gilbert and colleagues (2012) – “Fear of Happiness Scale”, some people find it difficult to trust positive feelings. Rating feelings such as being frightened to become too happy, undeserving to be happy, and so on.

Cherophobia is not recognized as a clinical disorder and may stem from past trauma or underlying conditions. Let’s seek treatment with a doctor that can help.

Remember, it’s okay if you feel this way.

❤

Posted in life, motivational, psychology

Pseudo Dementia and Anxiety

Posted on by M Artisans

Day 2 of 2024, upon reflecting on the past year, I have observed certain symptoms that accompany my experience with depression. Watching K-dramas, especially the latest one titled “Daily Dose of Sunshine” enlightened me on how many symptoms co-exist with depression.

Pseudo Dementia

Mood-related conditions such as depression can lead to Pseudo Dementia. This condition exhibits symptoms similar to dementia but does not involve neurological degeneration. Due to its association with depression, it is occasionally referred to as depressive pseudo-dementia. For more information on this topic, you can visit this link.

The symptoms may include:

  • problems with speech and language
  • lapses or losses of memory
  • difficulty paying attention
  • difficulty regulating emotions
  • difficulty organizing or planning

It may be noticeable online (or on social media) due to fewer posts I made since being diagnosed with depression. The struggle is more on my lack of energy and a generalized feeling of fatigue and low mood.

The following symptoms may also manifest since it is related to depression:

  • a loss of interest in activities
  • a depressed mood that lasts for weeks at a time
  • social withdrawal
  • suicidal thoughts or behaviors
  • insomnia or hypersomnia
  • general fatigue
  • a loss of appetite or overeating

Anxiety

During the holiday season, despite being surrounded by family and friends, I found myself grappling with worries and anxious thoughts. The stress of the festive season and the ensuing challenges triggered my anxiety disorder.

I didn’t know I had this phobia called trypophobia, and if you have one please don’t even try searching it online or they will show you holes. It is a general feeling of uneasiness, fear, and cringe at holes or patterns (ex., honeycomb).

Dealing with anxiety entails experiencing uncontrollable fear or worry. Depending on the type of anxiety, these feelings can arise during routine activities such as socializing with new acquaintances or tackling challenges at school or work.

Both anxiety and depression are very common and frequently co-occur.

All these conditions, if you have them, are not a result of weakness but are medical conditions. And even though we may still face criticism from those who don’t completely understand, I urge you to seek help and reach out to friends and family.

❤

Posted in motivational

Being a Bitter Person

Posted on by M Artisans

Someone who is bitter is anger and unhappy because they cannot forget bad things that happened in the past;

– Cambridge Dictionary

What does it mean to be a Bitter Person?

Bitter people have two core emotions ~ anger and unhappiness. They have a lot of drama and excuses in their lives. They have a hard time seeing the positive in every situation. Resentment is the closest emotional construct to bitterness according to experts. They harbor deep-seated resentment and carry negative emotions. They have an endless sense of dissatisfaction and an inability to let go and move on from past grievances.

According to Psychology Today, the root of bitterness is “hurt” and “emotional pain”, having complex emotions that also include disappointment.

A bitter person is often angry, sad and disappointed. They seem to be preoccupied with too much negative feelings. And greatly affects people around them. They can cause harm and even destroy relationships.

You may be dealing with someone bitter in your life, knowledge and understanding is the key to handling them.

Here are the characteristics of bitter people;

  1. Bitter people are constantly jealous and envious – they are not happy and contented with their lives. They want what you have and constantly compare themselves with other people.
  2. Bitter people use drama to get attention and sympathy – They often find themselves bored and lonely so they create dramatic situations to get sympathy and attention.
  3. Bitter people focus on the negative – they are often judgemental and talk about the faults of others. They live in negativity and don’t like you to be happy.
  4. Bitter people are narcissistic – we have a separate post on this topic, the kind of people that are selfish and detached.
  5. Bitter people hold grudges – they hold grudges and they can’t let go of something for a long time. Feeding on anger and hatred.

No matter how much you want to help this person, you have to understand that for them they don’t really want your help. If these people were open to advice, they wouldn’t be so miserable in the first place.

There’s still something you can do about it if you want to help them though. Find the courage to sit down and talk to them about their bitterness and how they can improve themselves.

It is possible to be bitter and not be aware of it, so if you care for that person tell them, pray for them…

Posted in motivational

What it really feels like to be Depressed

Posted on by M Artisans

A sunny Saturday morning, I’ve been feeling worthless… I cannot really put into words how I feel – crappy? It’s like something hurts inside, not physically, something you cannot grasp.

I read I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteobbokki last year, written in such detail about the author’s conversations/therapy with her psychiatrist. Some parts are still clear in my mind and resonate with my feelings, the writhing emotions which threatened to tear me apart…

“I wonder about others like me, who seem totally fine on the outside but are rotting on the inside, where the rot is this vague state of being not-fine and not-devastated at the same time.”

– Baek Se-Hee, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteobbokki

There are times when I just want to sit alone, doing nothing, staring blankly at something. The things I used to enjoy doing, they don’t excite me anymore… Now, I’m really depressed. Nothing interests me at all… Everything appears like a chore I must do in order to get through the day.

Anhedonia, that’s what I’ve learned in my short course in Psychology. No medical terms matter to me today.

As a Christian, I cited examples in the bible. And yes even prophet Elijah battled depression.

Elijah himself traveled a day’s journey into the wilderness, and he came and sat down under a juniper tree and asked [God] that he might die. He said, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers.”

– 1 Kings 19:4-7



It feels reassuring I guess, that many great people fell into depression… Elijah’s suffering was an accumulation of fatigue and exhaustion. It’s a slap to my self-doubt, that I’m not religious enough to feel this low. It just happens to anyone.

“Looking deep within myself is always difficult. Especially when I’m in the throes of negative emotion. How shall I describe it? It’s like I know everything is fine, but I can’t stop myself from endlessly checking to make sure it really is fine, and in the process I make myself miserable. Today was like that. I just felt like whining. And leaning on someone, and being sad. To me, sadness is the path of least resistance, the most familiar and close-at-hand emotion I have. A habit that has encrusted itself onto my everyday.”

– Baek Se-Hee

So when Elijah was depressed, God sent His angel to touch him. Delivering a message of hope and the angel gave him nourishment to his tired body. (1 Kings 1:6-7)

Closing this post, I’d like to end this by saying that there is hope. There are things even minute things that can help us, like taking a shower, writing a journal, scribbling, painting… There’s something that can give you relief. I know from experience, it is hard. But there is hope…

hugs ❤

when I’m afraid, I put my trust in You.

– Psalm 56:3

casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].

1 Peter 5:7
Posted in motivational

Characteristics of a Good Work Environment

Posted on by M Artisans

Work Environment; Someone’s environment is all the circumstances, people, things, and events around them that influence their life. 

– Collins dictionary

A good work environment is essential for employees’ productivity and well-being. Every employee needs a good working environment to motivate them and gives out the best in them.

A healthy work environment has many components, a primary factor is relationship with co-workers. A positive culture, non-toxic and amiable co-workers is the main ingredient in a healthy workplace.

Another key characteristic of a healthy work environment is the way they appreciate their loyal employees. To be recognized and noticed is part of our Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs.

Next feature is open and transparent communication between the employer and employees. A transparent and open form of communication addresses the employee’s need to feel that what they have to say has value and is being listened. It is what makes employees feel that they are part of the organization and they are being valued there. Wouldn’t you agree that this characteristic is highlighted in small businesses? Mainly because their size is synonymous to unity and closeness among the co-workers and with the employer. Employees could directly talk to their boss for urgent problems without the need for formalities or go through complex processes unlike in big corporations.

The environment that employees work in can impact their feelings of well-being, workplace relationships, collaboration, and productivity. It can greatly influence how you feel about your job so it is important to find an employer that fosters a positive environment.

Team spirit. We are social beings, we have the need to belong to a group and get support from them. Day to day struggles will become less daunting, because they work together and support each other, workload becomes lighter and thus more positive.

Trust. It is very important to build trust for a proper and smooth working of an organization. The employer should have trust on his employees and vice-versa. Trust is the basic foundation of all relationships.  Trust is all about doing what you say you are going to do and being who you say you are.

A healthy environment promotes communication, helping, healing and education between employees. They grow and improve together and value friendship and loyalty.

❤

Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com
Posted in faith, life, motivational, prayer

How to be content with your life

Posted on by M Artisans

For those who’ve been following me in IG, one chronic side effect of my treatment or symptom management is depression. It can also be brought by illness itself, either way am 😦

We’ve all had this feeling before – sadness, dark cloud above your head, low days, lonelines… I cannot describe this state in the most positive way possible, an overall feeling of doom, zero inspiration and motivation.

Truth is no one could completely grasp one’s feelings and emotional well being with depression. Help starts with you. It takes massive effort yes, but it’s worth the try…

Please remember that – your current state is not forever, this (too) shall pass.

How to be content with your life?

  1. Change your perspective – the easiest way to be content with your life is adjusting your perspective. Instead of being stuck with the past or obsessing over the future, focus on Living in the Present.
  2. Be Grateful for what you have – though our life may be miserable today but try thinking of the things you have and how lucky you are compare to other people. This also includes – to stop comparing yourself with others. As the old saying goes – “the grass is greener on the other side” – the things we don’t have seem better than the things we have. This is the biggest obstacle in achieving happiness. Because there will always be someone who is happier, healthier, richer than you. But why look? If it’s only going to make you more miserable and unhappy.
  3. Appreciate the little things – Every detail in your life counts. We may take for granted this little things because we are too focused on the negative. Daily reflection, write a journal, a walk outside for some fresh air. Making a habit of reflecting will help you think rationally when a problem arises and will keep you from being blind-sided by problems that are lurking in your life.

One thing that really helps me is – FAITH. I can’t imagine myself being in the center of all these without Jesus. To be able to believe in something greater than us is the most effective coping mechanism for people who are suffering.

Yes it’s okay not to feel okay, if you need to cry then do it…

David Spiegel, MD, the medical director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine, reminds us that “Happiness is not the absence of sadness.”

Let me share these beautiful songs… Allow Jesus to be with you, to cry with you and feel with you…

Happy are the people who are sad now,

God will come near to help them.

Matthew 5:4 Easy

I will be still and

know You are God.

Posted in life, motivational

What it means to be loyal

Posted on by M Artisans

If there’s one substantial quality to have in our relationships – with our loved ones, our family, friends, partners, colleagues, etc. – it could be loyalty. All relationships even between sellers and customers are based on our ability to be loyal.

Loyalty, in general use, is a devotion and faithfulness to a nation, cause, philosophy, country, group, or person. Philosophers disagree on what can be an object of loyalty, as some argue that loyalty is strictly interpersonal and only another human being can be the object of loyalty.

– Wikipedia

We may have different perceptions of loyalty but there are common characteristics that indicate loyalty. It is the most valued virtue in all relationships and encompasses the following traits.

Character Traits of Loyalty

  • a loyal person fulfills promises
  • a loyal person is supportive
  • a loyal person stands by you and for you
  • a loyal person values honesty
  • a loyal person is empathic
  • a loyal person is reliable
  • a loyal person is committed and dedicated

We all want the warmth and security that a loyal relationship brings. We like to be with people who are more likely to be faithful to us. And it is one of the basic necessity according to Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs – Belongingness and Love Needs.

But remember not to expect other people the exact values we possess. We are all unique and different in personality traits, character, priorities, etc. One can cheat or be faithful to someone forever.

Loyalty is a value that is necessary for a lasting and meaningful relationships.

❤

Posted in kdrama, motivational

Toxic Manipulator spotted in Alchemy of Souls

Posted on by M Artisans

Warning: this post may contain spoilers.

We’re done watching Season 1 of Alchemy of Souls and boy what a great ending! Massive cliffhanger and intense drama, though many people died 😦 and revelations were all shocking.

Thought of posting about the character of Jin Mu – the main villain of this Kdrama. He did well in this series, I must say he is one effective villain. I’ve seen other dramas with him as the antagonist and he is really a good actor. This post is not about him as an actor but will talk about his role in Alchemy of Souls.

Jin Mu

In Psychology, a toxic person is most likely to manifest a manipulative behavior. And it was evident all throughout the series. Jin Mu has manipulated the main characters for his own benefit. His dream has always been to be a Kingmaker or a very powerful head of Cheonbugwan. So he manipulates Naksu who lives in Mu-deok’s body using spells that shaman Choi left behind.

As per Merriam-Webster the meaning of MANIPULATIVE is of, relating to, or performed by manipulation; especially : serving or intended to control or influence others in an artful and often unfair or selfish way.

Manipulation refers to strategies and behaviors a person uses to gain power or influence over another. These tactics often include attempts to damage another person’s emotional and mental well-being. And for those following this series, Mu controlled and destroyed the lives of many characters like Jang Gang and his friend (the father of Naksu), Naksu, the queen (shaman), and list goes on.

Ep 20 stills – Crown Prince (Go Won) & Jin Mu

A manipulator like Jin Mu will show the following behavior;

  • Lying
  • Denying
  • Passive-aggressive behavior
  • Gaslighting
  • Silence
  • Criticizing
  • Withholding important information
  • Blaming

He has used lies to control and influence other people in the story – Go Won that’s why he would be confused and troubled all the time. Fighting between his stand as a student of Mu or a kind-hearted prince. He promises to help Go Won kill Jang Uk and reveal his great secret. Won claims that Uk is now powerless and would soon be an outcast so he asks Jin Mu to confess and come clean but again with the manipulation Mu insists that Jang Uk might just be hiding his power and that everyone was deceiving Go Won (lie after lie, tsk).

Jin Mu also showed gaslighting, blaming and endless lies to other characters like Lady Jin who was already desperate to find her long lost daughter.

Manipulative behavior can also serve the following purposes;

  • Cause doubt and confusion 
  • Help them avoid conflict
  • Conceal their true intentions
  • Allow them to avoid responsibility for their behavior

This destructive behavior has caused the tragic ending of season 1. And though we are aware of second season coming this December, I just can’t take my mind off the dispecable role of Jin Mu. He is the evilest among all evil as one blogger said.

In reality, we may be living with a manipulator and it only takes knowledge and understanding to spot one. They don’t need spells to try to control and influence us for their own gain. We should be wise enough to deal with them so we won’t fall victim to their main act which is manipulation.

(season 2 pls, pls)<3