As part of my note taking in Emotional and Social Intelligence ESI (UC Davis) – a course I’m currently taking online. Here are the signs of a person, employee or co-worker with high EQ (emotional quotient) or EI (emotional intelligence).
But first we define Emotional Intelligence or EQ as the capacity to be aware of control and express your emotions as well as navigate interpersonal relationships with both good judgement and empathy.
EQ/EI affects every aspect in your life and has been proven to be in the top 10 most important workplace skills needed for success according to World Economic Forum (2020).
Currently writing this while having an attack, and yes you may conclude that I’m immune to this overly sensitive nose of mine.
Not to sound pathetic, but I have been suffering from allergic rhinitis since time immemorial & somehow I got used to it. From dust to mold, even a mere lack of sleep can make me sick. Then came endometriosis, adenomyosis and so forth. I had a couple of doses of GnRH from 2020 and since then I’ve noticed changes in my overall health. My allergies became more severe and it’s so frustrating. Stomach becomes painful (aside from my poor nose) from endless sneezing. Consuming a box of kleenex in one sitting.
So I had to find ways, studied health courses online, continuously hunting for definite cure or miracle for these health issues. The following are remedies, tips and facts that may help your condition.
Allergic rhinitis, often called hay fever, is a common condition that causes symptoms such as sneezing, stuffy nose, runny nose, watery eyes and itching of the nose, eyes or the roof of the mouth.
Allergic rhinitis is an allergic reaction to tiny particles in the air called allergens. When you breathe in allergens through your nose or mouth, your body reacts by releasing a natural chemical called histamine.
Several indoor and outdoor allergens cause hay fever. Common causes include dust mites, mold, pet dander and pollen from trees and plants.
You can have allergic rhinitis any season or all year round (ditto!).
It is inherited.
It’s difficult (impossible) to completely avoid potential allergens, but you can take steps to reduce exposure to a particular allergen you know or suspect is triggering your allergic rhinitis. This will help improve your symptoms. And if you can’t take it anymore, there are antihistamine medications that will help – just ask your doctor for prescription. My go-to medications are cetirizine, levocetirizine (antihistamines).
Studying Psychology shows you a myriad of complicated terms, endless name of disorders, personality types, etc. But let’s be practical here, everywhere you go there’s always a “toxic” person. They’re impossible to avoid, can give you negative feelings and worse affect your mental health.
But do you know that Toxic behavior is something that can manifest in us all?
We all have bad days but it is important to be aware of our actions and how they affect the people around us. “Self-awareness” – according to my professor and the author of best selling book Permission to feel – Marc Brackett, is the start of becoming an Emotional Scientist.
First, let us learn how to identify a toxic individual.
Being toxic is never fun to be around, you drive people away and usually encounter conflicts and misunderstandings. Keep in mind that these behaviors don’t happen overnight, it is developed through the years and has underlying causes or triggers like childhood trauma. They are actually unconscious and developed over time as their defense mechanism. Not an excuse though, that’s why we begin by realizing if our behavior is already hurting other people.
Ways not to be toxic.
1. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones
it all starts with your mind, your thoughts drive and guide how you behave.
Professor Marc Brackett said that our brain is hay wired to think negatively right away, it is our automatic way of thinking. This is not good for the body as it activates our limbic system.
Thinking positively takes time and lot of effort.
2. Be actively Grateful
When we practice gratitude, our feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction increase, and the feeling of burn-out decreases.
Toxic people are unhappy because they tend to look at the past and for them everything in their life is not good enough.
Take a few minutes everyday to be actively grateful. This could be anything from your pet, sunshine or good weather, family, or the roof above your head.
If you really want not to be toxic, know that acknowledging the good things in your life lets you focus on them and everything else seems brighter and happier.
3. Think before you react
build the habit of pausing before reacting.
toxic people are highly reactive, they tend to lash out on people around them.
this is the best time to practice being a better listener, so instead of reacting try to listen first.
being an active listener shows that you care.
4. Let your ego go
a toxic person is desperate to maintain a certain image to the point of attacking others, or being defensive and becoming a habitual liar.
they believe they’re entitled and people are beneath them.
accept that nobody’s perfect and that you’re not always correct.
kindness is free and without your ego this is easy.
5. Show accountability
this is related to ego, apologizing is like admitting defeat to a toxic person.
admitting you’ve made a mistake and taking responsibility makes it feel you’ve failed.
if you’re not able to be accountable for your own wrongdoing — if you dig in, and have to maintain your image — this is a big potential problem. For one, it’s a sign of narcissism.
it will be a struggle to maintain a real relationship to someone who can never ever accept fault. It makes other people uncomfortable, denies their emotions or needs, and leaves them feeling wronged too.
Sharing one of the best Zig Ziglar’s writing and meditations… a valuable lesson for this generation and generations to come…
Coming home on a plane, I noticed that the fellow seated next to me had his wedding band on the index finger of his right hand. I couldn’t resist the temptation so I commented, “friend, you’ve got your wedding band on the wrong finger.”
He responded, “yeah, I married the wrong woman.”
Many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I’ll be the first one to admit that it’s possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could end up having the right person after all…
On the other hand, if you marry the right person and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person.
I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.
Research, personal observation, and experience prove that stable, sound marriages are not built on the passion of the moment. Realistic (and positive) expectations lead to marriages that last.
I have been following and reading Zig Ziglar. For me he is one of the world’s best motivator, I thought at first he was an inspiration for entrepreneurial only. But he has great life principles and writings too.
God was indeed so generous and gracious, His will triumphs over anything.
The wedding was so beautiful and memorable, worth all the pains, wait and hurdles. We met numerous challenges, family emergencies/illness, problems, people and hindrances. There was a time when we thought we’d lose my in-law due to a critical condition and wedding date was compromised, but God intervened. It was His timing, so perfect.
I cannot thank God enough for this dream-came-true.
Seeking a good coordinator was the first step. So, I prayed for one and God gave me the best in town @events by miss p. The rest of the suppliers were equally amazing. Working with them were a bliss 🙂
We opted a very simple & uncomplicated wedding. Skipping many traditional and fancy components like not having bridesmaids and groomsmen, no lengthy or scripted photo shoot, etc. The venue itself was a Spanish antique house turned into a restaurant in Malacañan. Making the wedding more intimate.
It was in Malacañan since we invited President Duterte and Madam Honeylet. And we are so honoured to have our principal sponsors during our wedding.
A Cebuano – Jun Escario made my beautiful wedding gown. Made up of separate pieces for I know exactly the trouble on pee-break while wearing a gown 🙂 It’s crafted with intricate french lace & imported fabric. Overall look is a fusion of Spanish-Filipiniana with accents of gold and of course my favorite – ecuadorian roses.
They say that grief can strike anytime, and so there I was, emotional and missing my father who passed away recently. You can read it my first post My wedding without daddy
yes, happy tears… as if there’s nothing else to do but cry. My uncle brought me together with my mom.
Fortunate to have our family and friends with us on this wondrous occasion. A celebration of love that stands against all odds.
The historic Basilica Menor de San Sebastian is the perfect church for our wedding. Though I felt we were on time constraint, had a quick photo session after the ceremony, still it justified the moment’s theme. Constructed in 1621 & completed in 1891, it is the only all-steel church in the Philippines and designated a National Historical Landmark since 1973. First time we visited this church, I was in awe for its beauty and grandeur. We are also blessed that this year, the parish is preparing for the 400th anniversary of the arrival of the first image of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel. Being a devotee myself, I felt so blessed by Mama Mary who has been a witness and a constant help in our journey.
My sister Monica, sang us to tears. Moved by every word and notes. The officiating priest is worth mentioning, he is a Cebuano and has been in our compound during his younger days. His sermon was very timely and important. Using the abbreviation C.A.L.L. – c for communication, a for affection, love and loyalty, reminding us of these values every marriage requires. Being together for more than a decade, time has proven that staying in love is effortless if it is true. The foundation is Jesús, and that makes it a solid one.
Pausing in prayer and remembrance, paying tribute to our late loved ones, especially my dad & brother who died a year ago. They are forever in our hearts…
There’s a myriad of gifts to give your mom this Mother’s Day but giving her something useful, practical and that will last is what we all desire for our special “Mama”.
So here are five (5) gifts any mom would love to receive on Mother’s Day.
Every mom loves to be pampered and bath time is no exemption. Lathering in organic, handmade and natural soaps is the most inexpensive luxury. Main reason is because they often lack time and just stick with the basic skin care – a gentle bar of soap. Gift her with one that is not just any soap but also effective to remove skin problems like acne, pimple marks, warts, and other imperfections. Tried and tested by the Japanese – Kojic Acid Soap is a perfect example, and so are the likes of Rice, Oatmeal, Gluthatione, & Papaya Soaps.
The fame of K-beauty is due to its emphasis on skin care. From the simplest sheet mask to the more sophisticated serum and oils. The goal is to have clear, smooth and fair skin. And who doesn’t like that?!
Mothers don’t need to travel in order to have these must-haves, these are essential items in any working mom. Commuting can bring so much stress to our dear momsies especially in dealing with Manila traffic. Bag organisers or cosmetic bags are very practical and so is eye cooling mask. Relaxes tired eyes from a day’s work or trip.
Koreans also came out with cute, fashionable and most importantly – affordable coin purses/wallet. Moms know first and foremost how to save every peso coin. Giving her a purse will be of greatest use for her and she will surely be delighted.
Still in cloud-9 days after my church wedding. Another dream came true all to God’s glory… It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, sky was clear, weather was fair. Even the notorious Manila traffic seemed to be cooperating and so we arrived in Basilica Menór de San Sebastián 40 minutes early. Long enough to finish praying the rosary, simultaneously I talked to the chauffeur and coordinator assistants. I convinced myself not to cry, “yep this is nothing” anyway Dadi is smiling down from heaven and I’m sure he is very happy for me. Finally this day came, after twelve years of anticipation…
I wrapped the rosary around my wrist like armor to strengthen me.
I thought I was equipped not to cry,
I thought wrong.
The antique steel door slowly unclosed. I was instructed to count 5 seconds before making the first step. The door flung open, and there my poor heart started beating rapidly. So fast that it felt like my heart leaped off my chest. My hands were shaking. The coordinators kept on reminding to walk slowly, I heard them faintly for my heart was much stronger ~ it desired the man standing in the altar waiting for me.
“love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust.
Love still stands when all else has fallen”
1 Corinthians 13:7-8
I looked way pass him, still trying to stop the welling of my eyes. Yet, it made me more emotional. To see the image of the blessed Mother Mary (Our Lady of Mt. Carmel) was the best reminder of this dream that was about to unfold. All attempts failed and I wept, using up the tissue prepared in my hidden pocket. At that moment, everything else was blurry in my sight, I didn’t mind looking terrible and drenched in tears.
Then, I looked at the right of the altar and saw a familiar cross with the sacred image of Jesus. A similar crucifix as that of Lourdes, France. The church is such a perfect setting, everything seemed so surprisingly wonderful and surreal.
Little trivia: The church is the only all-steel church in the Philippines, made by a French engineer – Gustave Eiffel who also made the famous landmark Eiffel Tower in Paris.
And it hurts because a year ago my father died suddenly and unexpectedly, missing him in the most significant day in my life… I would have wanted him to be there even in wheelchair. But, the turn of events were tough, became even more difficult when my father-in law was again hospitalized and placed in ICU and my mom-in law needing to stay with him. And so both my in-laws and my Dadi were missing, it was painfully sweet and special.
The wedding was almost perfect, maybe perfect, because everything was God’s gift to me and Erik.
I opted for a simple one and specifically asked the photo/videographer to capture raw, candid, real emotions. I skipped many traditional scenes and the reason for this is that my life has too much melancholy and sadness already. No need to be fancy and dramatic. Masking the blues with laughters, giggles and smiles. At the back of my mind, I’d wished for Dadi to be there, handsome in his Barong Tagalog. Maybe, a chance for us to bond and to be a little vocal of how we actually feel. I missed the opportunity to tell him I love him, a goodbye never said, a guilt that affects me and regret that changed my life then on.
This post is to honor the memory of my dad, for my late brother as well. Taking opportunity to remember with love those who are no longer with us, they are in our hearts forever.
It’s been 3 years since our last vacation and looking forward for a whole new perspective, visit places, meet people, discover their culture and the best part is to taste their food (Spanish tapas – yum!)
Here’s an accustomed checklist of mine improved through time & designed for long trips with young family members, kids and also elderly having special needs.
passport (VISA if applicable) – first on the list, obviously you can’t travel without it 😉
itinerary – unless you want to be carefree with your trip, be adventurous and just visit the places you’d like to see in your own time.
airplane tickets – internet made everything so easy and convenient. From buying to check in. Hooray for internet!
book your room – for me this is very important, it’s your home away from home. There are several sites that will help you choose the best hotel that suits you. Below are direct links for legit and safe – hotel booking sites ↓ you’re welcome 🙂
medicines – the basic over-the-counter medicines, in no particular order; pain reliever, anti-diarrhea, for motion sickness, for dyspepsia, maintenance medicines for our elder companions (anti-hypertensive, anti-cholesterol, etc), anti-histamine for allergies and first aid kit.
neck pillows – because sleep or even quick nap is a must!
shawl/cap – to keep you warm & cap for sun protection
clothing and other accessories – if fashion is your statement
vitamins and supplements – to support our immune system as we are exposed to a different environment when we travel
camera and extra memory cards – to store priceless selfies and memories
phone chargers, cable and adaptor – across the world, there are varying power outlets that may be different from your plug
powerbank – as we take a lot of selfies, our phone’s/camera’s batteries drain faster than usual