Tag: family

Posted in faith, prayer, prayers

Pride according to the Bible

Posted on by M Artisans

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

1 Peter 5:5

The biblical definition of pride is “an inordinate love of one’s own excellence.” In fact, pride was Satan’s downfall. He chose his pride and placed himself of equal with God the Father. Satan was destroyed because of pride and so he wants us to suffer the same demise.

Pride goes down to the very core of worry and anxiety, revealing a lack of trust in God. It has been called the cancer of the soul, the “beginning of all sin.”

When does pride becomes a sin?

Pride becomes sinful when it’s excessively self-focused. Sin of pride refers to a high or exalted attitude – the opposite virtue of humility. In the bible, synonyms are insolence, presumptuousness, arrogance, conceit, high-mindedness, egotism.

It becomes a sin when we are too proud and self-elevating. When we are proud it’s like we are saying that we know better than God and that we don’t need Him anymore. It’s a form of rebellion, putting our own desires and plans ahead of what God designed for us.

More Bible Verses about Pride

  • Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18
  • To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, even behavior and perverse speech. Proverbs 8:13
  • Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance, for the LORD is a God who knows, and by him deeds are weighed. 1 Samuel 2:3
  • Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice. Proverbs 13:10
  • Will punish the world for its evil, the wicked for their sins. I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty and will humble the pride of the ruthless. Isaiah 13:11
  • You have been deceived by your own pride. Obadiah 3
  • Pride leads to disgarce but wuth humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

There are six things that the Lord hates, guess what Pride is included in the list…

Proverbs 6:16-19

16  There are six things the Lord hates,
     seven that are detestable to him:
17         haughty eyes,
        a lying tongue,
        hands that shed innocent blood,
18         a heart that devises wicked schemes,
        feet that are quick to rush into evil,
19         a false witness who pours out lies
        and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

A simpler version from CEV (Contemporary English Version) –

There are 6 or 7 kinds of people that the Lord doesn’t like; those who are too proud or tell lies or murder, those who make evil plans or quick to do wrong, those who tell lies or stir up conflct in a family or community.

Posted in life, psychology

What it means to be considerate?

Posted on by M Artisans

Coming across vlogs “showing off” their lifestyle rendered some deep thoughts and reflections. There’s a Filipino term called – “malasakit“. Uniquely Filipino because there’s no exact English translation. It is a Filipino value of caring and acting on the needs of others.

Be Considerate

Being considerate is synonymous to kindness. It can come in different forms and sizes. When you think of others before yourself, considering their feelings, concerns or priorities before your own. Begins with sympathy and thoughful rumination.

Being nice is a broader term – like civility. Being considerate entails a real and active interest on other people. There’s more effort than just being nice or civil.

There are 7 habits of Considerate People.

1. They practice empathy

Empathy is described as sensing what people are feeling

– Goldman Madel

It is different from sympathy, as empathy involves shared perspective or emotion. Considerate people not only feel for (with) others but actively see the world beyond themselves. Treating people with respect and compassion.

2. They smile often

Pexels.com

There’s a saying that kindness begins with a smile. Smiling evokes a positive emotion and reaction. In Positive Psychology, people are encouraged to smile more. You feel good and affect others, too.

3. They are intuitive of other people’s needs

From my Emotional Social Intelligence (ESI) class, there’s Cognitive Empathy. It is the ability to understand what another person might be thinking or feeling. When you walk in another person’s shoes and make them feel they are valued – that’s consideration.

Pexels.com

4. They mind their manners

Being polite doesn’t begin and end with saying please and thank you. It is way more than that. The golden rule – treat others the way you want to be treated.

5. Be emotionally intelligent

Emotional and Social Intelligence – is the ability to be aware of your own emotions and those of others in the moment, and use that information to manage yourself and your relationships (ESI UC Davis).

ESI is not a soft skill and is now in the Top 10 most important workplace skill needed for success (World Eco Forum 2020). It is twice as important as technical and cognitive skills combined.

6. They are patient

Patience is difficult to have these days especially when attention span is shortened to a few seconds. Being patient comes with kindness, as you “consider” other person’s situation or reason.

Pexels.com

7. They apologize (when needed)

One of the traits of a toxic individual is – non admission to mistakes. Apologizing when you’ve made a mistake instead of passing the blame is crucial when being considerate.

Pexels.com

❤

Posted in life, psychology

What are the benefits of having Good friends

Posted on by M Artisans

Do you know that there are benefits of having good friends?

Having supportive people around you, includes family, partners, colleagues. These good friends can have a major impact in your life, health and overall well-being according to Mayo clinic.

Benefits of Friendship

  • Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
  • Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
  • Improve your self confidence and self worth
  • Help you cope traumas such as divorce, serious illness, job loss or death of a loved one
  • Encourage you to have healthy lifestyle or habit
  • Promote personal development

Good friends are good for your health. Friends can help you celebrate good times and provide support during bad times. Friends prevent isolation and loneliness and give you a chance to offer needed companionship, too.

Mayo clinic

People with strong social connections have reduced risk of many health problems. Studies found that older adults who have good friends and social support are likely to live longer.

Among all the benefits of having meaningful relationships, Emotional support is significant. They listen to your problems, can validate your feelings, and can help distract you when you’re sad or upset.

In one of the lessons I had, Professor Jonah Berger of Wharton University said, ” people are 36% more likely to quit smoking if a friend quits.”

Your friends can support your choices and even promote the right ones. They can cheer you on, motivate you like gym buddies or yoga partners.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Sense of belongingness comes in third on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Caring about others makes life more meaningful. Your self worth increases, knowing you have a support system can help you feel more secure in your own life.

On the other hand, unhealthy or toxic friendships can cause stress and bring you down. Choose your companions and avoid toxic people; gossiper, unkind or rude, manipulative, selfish, etc.

Pexels.com

Bottom line, good friends are important in your life. Strong friendships will continue to strengthen you, make you healthier and help you have a brighter outlook.

❤

Posted in psychology

The influence of people around you

Posted on by M Artisans

Yes people come and go in our life and they also influence us in one way or another. My constant prayer as a parent is for my child to meet friends who will be of “good” influence to her. I grew up in a traditional manner, raised by strict grandmother and parents, choosing good friends is important.

A motto that marked indelibly in my heart is this saying;

Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are.

– anonymous

There are many versions of this quote but they all mean the same thing. In Social Psychology, this influence is being recognized and scientifically proven. Your closest associates (sometimes called – reference group) can determine much of your success in life. Our friends influence us subtly yet powerfully, and that can either be good or bad.

Research shows we do not have as much control over our thoughts and behavior as we think. We take cues from our environment, especially other people, on how to act.

– Psychology Today

Another powerful quote by Jim Rohn – “You are the average of the 5 people you hang around with.” The first quotation stayed with me since highschool. And recently, studying Psychology out of interest helps me gain more insight in relationships and human behavior.

You can’t choose your family, but you have the power to decide who to be close with. You also have the power to avoid certain people – toxic ones, for they will definitely shape who you are.

From my notes in Managing Emotions (Social Emotional Learning SEL) by Yale University – Humans are social creatures, we are influencing each other’s feelings whether we realize it or not.

Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

Surrounding yourself with good people is not a strategy, it is a necessity. Having family and friends who motivate and help you become better (or best) version of yourself is a blessing.

❤

Posted in Kdrama

Must watch – “Thirty Nine” (2022)

Posted on by M Artisans

Leaning on each other through thick and thin, a trio of best friends stand together as they experience life, love and loss on the brink of turning 40.

– Netflix

While waiting for next episodes of Under the Queen’s Umbrella, this series caught my eyes. I thought this will be light and funny, but it’s actually sad. About the struggles of people with chronic illness, fear of what would happen, uncertain of what will it be on days nearing her death. Dealing with family, relationships, love and career. The strong bond between the three and their frienship in sickness and in health.

Starring Son Ye-jin as Cha Mijo, Jeon Mi-do as Jeong Chan-Young, and Kim Ji-hyun as Jang Joo-Hee.

There are light moments too amidst tearful scenes. As much as I want to post more about this drama, perhaps sharing the memorable quotes would be much better.

“When you’re overwhelmingly grateful, you find it so hard to express your gratitude.”

– Chanyoung

“Let’s live in the present.”

– Kim Seonu

“i wanted to forget reality and that everything was peachy. I just wanted to believe that.” – Mijo

“The stars are so pretty that it makes me sad.” – Cha Mijo

“i think i’ll prefer this even when i get old. I’m that happy now. But if my happiness makes you feel uneasy, that’s just sad.” – Hyeon-jun

“That was our choice. To live like there’s no tomorrow. Like there’s no sadness. That’s how we decided to spend each day.” – Cha Mijo

“This is about the things that won’t come back. This is about our moments.” – Chanyoung

“My entire body aches because you hit me with the sad reality.”

– Chanyoung

“As I grew older, I realized no matter how tough life may be and no matter your story, you should never abandon your child.” – Mijo

Live as if this is not happening.

-Chanyoung

“When our bodies get sick, we either get surgery or take medicine. When our minds get sick, we should get good rest.” – Mijo’s father

“A true friend lets you know what’s right and wrong.” – Cha Mijo

“That day, when everything felt hopeless, the touch of his hand felt so warm.” – Cha Mijo

Beautiful OST by Choi Yu Ree, she sang other OSTs like Wish from Hometown Cha cha cha

❤

Posted in life, motivational

What it means to be loyal

Posted on by M Artisans

If there’s one substantial quality to have in our relationships – with our loved ones, our family, friends, partners, colleagues, etc. – it could be loyalty. All relationships even between sellers and customers are based on our ability to be loyal.

Loyalty, in general use, is a devotion and faithfulness to a nation, cause, philosophy, country, group, or person. Philosophers disagree on what can be an object of loyalty, as some argue that loyalty is strictly interpersonal and only another human being can be the object of loyalty.

– Wikipedia

We may have different perceptions of loyalty but there are common characteristics that indicate loyalty. It is the most valued virtue in all relationships and encompasses the following traits.

Character Traits of Loyalty

  • a loyal person fulfills promises
  • a loyal person is supportive
  • a loyal person stands by you and for you
  • a loyal person values honesty
  • a loyal person is empathic
  • a loyal person is reliable
  • a loyal person is committed and dedicated

We all want the warmth and security that a loyal relationship brings. We like to be with people who are more likely to be faithful to us. And it is one of the basic necessity according to Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs – Belongingness and Love Needs.

But remember not to expect other people the exact values we possess. We are all unique and different in personality traits, character, priorities, etc. One can cheat or be faithful to someone forever.

Loyalty is a value that is necessary for a lasting and meaningful relationships.

❤

Posted in Kdrama

New Kdrama – Under the Queen’s Umbrella

Posted on by M Artisans

I’ve watched many Kdramas and many I’ve failed to feature. Trending series like One the Woman, which is now available in Netflix. There’s Mr. Queen which is equally very funny we’d burst in laughter non stop, rom-com I’m not a robot (one of my favorites), and list go on…

This new series- Under the Queen’s Umbrella (Korean: 슈룹) is an ongoing South Korean television series starring Kim Hye-soo, Kim Hae-sook and Choi Won-young. It premiered on tvN on October 15, 2022, and airs every Saturday and Sunday at 21:10 (KST).[6] It is also be available for streaming on Netflix in selected regions.

My hubby (& Kdrama buddy) and I love period/historical dramas. They are remarkable, informative, beautiful portrayal of royal families and relay the life of Koreans under that era. This new series is somehow relatable, as a mom myself, raising children is the most difficult role in the world. The more for the queen during Joseon kingdom.

Under The Queen’s Umbrella is not the first Korean historical drama to focus on the precarious position of female royalty during the Joseon Dynasty, but it does emphasize the machinations that such uneven power systems provoked. Because most court women had no real power to affect change, some turned to duplicitous plots—from rumormongering to murder—to improve their station.

Forbes

With new episodes released every week, you’re bound to cry, ache, laugh and worry for the queen and her sons, the grand princes.

❤

Posted in life, psychology

What is Gaslighting

Posted on by M Artisans

In my previous post, we talked about manipulation and sampled the character of Jin Mu from Alchemy of Souls. Fact check, we meet a gaslighter in real life sometimes unaware of it, and so before falling to their trap let me show you ways to spot a gaslighter.

Gaslighting is a colloquialism, loosely defined as making someone question their own reality. The term derives from the title of the 1944 film – Gaslight. The term may also be used to describe a person (a “gaslighter”) who presents a false narrative to another group or person, thereby leading them to doubt their perceptions and become misled, disoriented or distressed.

Wikipedia

Gaslighting is a favorite tool of a toxic person. It is a form of abuse and psychological control. A gaslighter will start with small lies, eventually misinformation increases overtime. Anyone can be a victim of a gaslighting and the most effective gaslighter is the hardest to detect.

Gaslighting can appear in various ways. Here are examples or techniques they use (from Medical News Today);

  • Countering: This is when someone questions a person’s memory or recall. They may say, “Are you sure about that? You have a bad memory,” or “I think you are just forgetful.”
  • Withholding: Pretending they do not understand the conversation, or refusing to listen, to make a person doubt themselves. For example, they might say, “Now you are just confusing me,” or “I do not know what you are talking about.”
  • Trivializing: This occurs when a person belittles or disregards how someone else feels. They may accuse them of being “too sensitive” or overreacting in response to valid and reasonable concerns.
  • Denial: Refusing to take responsibility for their actions. They may do this by pretending to forget what happened, saying they did not do it, or blaming their behavior on someone else.
  • Diverting: With this technique, a person changes the focus of a discussion by questioning the other person’s credibility. A great tactic and often use by personalities to divert the attention from them.
  • Stereotyping: A person may intentionally use negative stereotypes about someone’s gender, race, ethnicity, sexuality, nationality, or age to gaslight them. For example, they may say that no one will believe a woman if she reports abuse.

From the examples listed, you maybe able to detect a gaslighter. As a disclaimer, this behavior becomes toxic based on intentions. And we may accidentally use the phrases sampled above without really intending to gaslight someone. It’s all in the intention or motives of a person.

It is different from Manipulation though. Manipulation is a key part of gaslighting, it’s a common tactic. Can be used in marketing strategies, politics, institutions, etc. But gaslighter, they are very rare and much more toxic.

Gaslighting can be psychologically devastating. According to Psychology Today, it violates trust, upends a person’s view that people are generally good, and can make them suspicious of everyone who is close to them. Falling victim to a gaslighter also erodes a person’s trust in themselves and may make a victim never want to be part of a relationship again.

There are ways to protect yourself from this form of abuse. First to simply gather evidence, write journals, take photos, etc. and use them as your proof. You may also talk to someone trustworthy and if needed, leave that toxic relationship.

Posted in motivational

Signs of high EQ

Posted on by M Artisans

As part of my note taking in Emotional and Social Intelligence ESI (UC Davis) – a course I’m currently taking online. Here are the signs of a person, employee or co-worker with high EQ (emotional quotient) or EI (emotional intelligence).

But first we define Emotional Intelligence or EQ as the capacity to be aware of control and express your emotions as well as navigate interpersonal relationships with both good judgement and empathy.

EQ/EI affects every aspect in your life and has been proven to be in the top 10 most important workplace skills needed for success according to World Economic Forum (2020).

Professor Laurie Cozart, UC Davis
– UC Davis

More bullet points to remember;

  • EQ is not as a soft skill
  • people with high EQ make more and perform better
  • high EQ is synonymous to high satisfaction
Professor Laurie Cozart – UC Davis
UC Davis

Posted in health, natural medicine

Allergic rhinitis

Posted on by M Artisans

Currently writing this while having an attack, and yes you may conclude that I’m immune to this overly sensitive nose of mine.

Not to sound pathetic, but I have been suffering from allergic rhinitis since time immemorial & somehow I got used to it. From dust to mold, even a mere lack of sleep can make me sick. Then came endometriosis, adenomyosis and so forth. I had a couple of doses of GnRH from 2020 and since then I’ve noticed changes in my overall health. My allergies became more severe and it’s so frustrating. Stomach becomes painful (aside from my poor nose) from endless sneezing. Consuming a box of kleenex in one sitting.

So I had to find ways, studied health courses online, continuously hunting for definite cure or miracle for these health issues. The following are remedies, tips and facts that may help your condition.

  • Allergic rhinitis, often called hay fever, is a common condition that causes symptoms such as sneezing, stuffy nose, runny nose, watery eyes and itching of the nose, eyes or the roof of the mouth.
  • Allergic rhinitis is an allergic reaction to tiny particles in the air called allergens. When you breathe in allergens through your nose or mouth, your body reacts by releasing a natural chemical called histamine.
  • Several indoor and outdoor allergens cause hay fever. Common causes include dust mites, mold, pet dander and pollen from trees and plants.
  • You can have allergic rhinitis any season or all year round (ditto!).
  • It is inherited.
Natural ways to treat allergies – Dr. Berg

It’s difficult (impossible) to completely avoid potential allergens, but you can take steps to reduce exposure to a particular allergen you know or suspect is triggering your allergic rhinitis. This will help improve your symptoms. And if you can’t take it anymore, there are antihistamine medications that will help – just ask your doctor for prescription. My go-to medications are cetirizine, levocetirizine (antihistamines).

❤