Posted in motivational

Toxic people in your life

Just as environment has its toxins and so is humanity.

In the Philippines, Mental health has a negative connotation so I’ll be using emotional and mental health interchangeably.

“People inspire you, or they drain you

— pick them wisely.”

Hans F. Hansen

What is a Toxic Person?

Toxicity is not considered an illness but there could be underlying causes or trauma behind their toxicity. But how will you know if they are toxic? A toxic person is anyone whose behavior gives negativity and upset to your life. They consistently cause you a negative response and you feel uncomfortable around them.

Before I give you the types, here are toxic behaviors you watch out for;

  • Negativity 
  • Cruelty
  • Gossip
  • Victim Syndrome
  • Drama
  • Craziness
  • Constant lying 
  • Being Manipulative 
  • Enjoy Others Suffering
  • Never Taking Ownership (non-admission of faults) 
  • Refusing to Apologize
  • Being Judgmental
  • Unreliable 
  • Inconsiderate

Just to be clear, we are all imperfect in one way or another. The difference with toxic people is that they “always” manifest the behaviors mentioned above and has destroyed relationships and brought conflicts.

Toxic people defy logic

Forbes.com

I’m studying Psychology because I’d like to know how to deal with different kinds of people. As an entrepreneur, I face a myriad of people everyday. Not to pat myself at the back, but I know I’m a good-hearted person so I need to protect myself and set boundaries. I believe that truly toxic ones are not worth my time and I feel like a portion of my life is deducted or shortened as I deal with them.

Believe it or not, there are 10 types of toxic people. Yes! that many. Maintain your peace and emotional health by being aware of their kind.

10 Types of Toxic People

  1. The Gossiper – we have a term here in the Philippines – “Marites” not sure how they derived that name but gossiper a.k.a. Marites is on the top of the list. What’s sad is they derive pleasure from talking about other people and they seem to celebrate with others’ misfortunes.
  2. The Temperamental – they seem to have anger management issues. It’s also difficult to deal with them as they don’t know how to handle their own emotions and can become explosive.
  3. The Victim – they see themselves as victims. Some may shower you with (superfluous) gifts, sort of bribery then they will open up to you. And you empathize with them, kind-hearted ones can easily fall for this trap.
  4. The Self-Absorbed – inconsiderate and a total narcissist. Fact check – they’re only using you for their benefit.
  5. The Envious – self explanatory and I’ve met many. Perfect to pair with “Marites” as they try to bring down one’s reputation.
  6. The Manipulator – they are a pro in manipulating those around them to get what they want. Another overlapping sign is when they excessively give you gifts and make you ask the question – “for what?”
  7. The Seductive, Overly-Dramatic Person – quoted this from Psychology Today. They’re fun to be with, often the life of the party. They are charming, seductive, physically attractive and do things to attract attention. They focus a great deal of time on outward appearance but really insecure deep inside.
  8. The Narcissistic-Aggressive Person – another from Psychology Today. Coming from the word – narcissism, these individuals are abusive, verbally or physically. They are selfish and aggressive, tend to be adventurous and risk-takers.
  9. The Judgemental – have you heard of the saying – “don’t rain on my parade” The judgemental are quick to tell you what’s wrong about your decision. They only see your faults and look down on others. Nothing is ever good enough for them.
  10. The Arrogant – arrogance is false-confidence and always masks insecurities.

Everything begins with awareness.

If you know someone who is toxic and there’s no way to avoid them, don’t fret. You may not be able to physically avoid them but you can set boundaries. First identify them and maintain a safe “emotional” distance. Expect the behavior/s mentioned above so you’ll be well prepared to “rationally” face them. You are now equipped but don’t ever try to engage or mix into the chaos. Call them out if they do something wrong to you.

Always choose peace. Respond and don’t react, I know it’s easier said than done but I’m just being optimistic here. For normal people like you and me, there’s hope and peace.

Posted in life

Zig Ziglar on marriage

Sharing one of the best Zig Ziglar’s writing and meditations… a valuable lesson for this generation and generations to come…

Coming home on a plane, I noticed that the fellow seated next to me had his wedding band on the index finger of his right hand. I couldn’t resist the temptation so I commented, “friend, you’ve got your wedding band on the wrong finger.”

He responded, “yeah, I married the wrong woman.”

Many people have a lot of wrong ideas about marriage and what it takes to make that marriage happy and successful. I’ll be the first one to admit that it’s possible that you did marry the wrong person. However, if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could end up having the right person after all…

On the other hand, if you marry the right person and treat that person wrong, you certainly will have ended up marrying the wrong person.

I also know that it is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person. In short, whether you married the right or wrong person is primarily up to you.

Research, personal observation, and experience prove that stable, sound marriages are not built on the passion of the moment. Realistic (and positive) expectations lead to marriages that last.

I have been following and reading Zig Ziglar. For me he is one of the world’s best motivator, I thought at first he was an inspiration for entrepreneurial only. But he has great life principles and writings too.

  • You can reach the top. (Zig Ziglar)
Posted in faith, life, prayer, quotes

Pray your way to peace

What is personal peace?

(or inner peace)

As defined by Wikipedia; refers to a deliberate state of psychological or spiritual calm despite the potential presence of stressors. 1

Being at “peace” is considered by many to be healthy, good for the body and soul. It is something we all seek and surely one thing money cannot buy. Even billionaires & the most influential people like Steve Jobs tried to search for peace, it was evident in his statements.

“my favorite things in life don’t cost any money. It is really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time.”

“your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

“being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that matters to me.”

Steve Jobs

I have shared this before & I’m saying this again, the key to inner peace is faith. It took me countless uphill battles & several deaths in my family to finally came down to my knees, recognizing that all I need is Jesus. Nothing / no-one can help me bear the pain but him who suffered with us, for us…

“Don’t be afraid for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

The recent sudden deaths of my brother and less than a year after my father – devastated me. I stopped praying for a while, like “doubtful Thomas” yearning for answers on why awful things happened to me. Yes, I tasted great sorrow, grief, scrutiny and defeats, but knowing that we have Jesus in our weakest is our greatest gift.

There’s this awesome book I’ve been reading lately. Sharing the prayer below. With title – “The Stress Cure” by Linda Evans Shepherd.

Quoting her, “I wondered why I’d allowed yesterday’s stress to block God’s peace, peace I could have had today…

Though we can’t control all the things that happen to us, we can, with God’s help, control our reaction to them – trusting God even when we’re stressed.”

brown book page
Pexels.com

The path to peace is simple – faith. It all starts there, peace leads to better health, then happiness and contentment. I’ve taken many herbal supplements to lessen my symptoms. Eventually, I realised that no matter how many ounces of medicine you take, if you’re under tremendous perpetual stress, it is useless and effect is just momentarily. Taking supplements coupled with intense faith & belief that you will be healed – that is power!

Let me now share the prayer;

Dear Jesus,

I need you to walk through the walls of my doubt and unbelief. I choose to believe in You, that you are alive! Give me supernatural belief so that I can see you clearly. You died on the cross for my sins and came back to life again. Because you took my punishment, I can now walk with God.

I turn from my sins and turn to you, to follow you and to trust you with my whole heart. Please forgive me for my past and let your Spirit come so I can learn to walk in your peace.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

God bless,

Posted in motivational, quotes

C.S. Lewis quotable quotes

From the man behind Chronicles of Narnia – C. S. Lewis, a compilation of my favorite quotes.

Read and be inspired…

To love is to be vulnerable.

 

Miracles are retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.

 

We would mind Humiliation less if we were humbler.

 

Children are not a distraction from more important work, they are the most important work.

 

It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.

 

 

integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching.

 

There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.

 

What draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth, they share it.

 

 

We are what we believe we are.

 

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

 

 

Courage, Dear Heart.

 

Much love,
Mitch
Posted in cakeshop, Disney

everything Disney

My favorite theme to make in my shop is a Disney inspired customized treat. I made my first “Disney” custom cake which was for my daughter’s birthday, that was also the first time I applied some skills I learned from Wilton school of cake decorating. I finished their courses from basic sugar piping to the more advance fondant and gumpaste class. But, let’s go back to the treats… ofcourse, I didn’t begin as a pro, we all have to start somewhere and that means being an amateur. I was ambitious to create an edible slipper of Cinderella and handling fondant wasn’t that easy. Tropical climate plus high humidity make it more challenging. Yes, I successfully made one, but pardon the lack of photo for evidence. I must have carelessly deleted the photos from my old laptop.

So… I just have to show you my more recent creations. A favorite motif is Mickey Mouse, it’s commissioned a couple of times and even a wedding cake with Mickey and Minnie on it. And then, there’s Elsa and Anna, I was humming “Do you wanna build a snowman?” while finishing these sugar artworks. Plus, my daughter loves Frozen, too.

if you can dream it, you can do it.

Walt Disney


wpid-img_8986898075280.jpeg
dessert table with Frozen theme

FROZEN CC 2014

Frozen cupcakes with edible images or toppers

frozen cupcakes

olaf cake
Olaf is also made of sugar 🙂

 when you’re curious, you find lots of interesting things to do.

Walt Disney

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Lightning McQueen inspired 3D cake

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one of the 5 cakes I made with same theme

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.

Walt Disney

mickey cake
the ears…

red mickey cake
first birthday cake

red mickey cake side
side of the same cake shown above

minnie zebra print cake
another version with zebra print

minnie petite cake
pink Minnie petite cake

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cake for Basha & Basti

mickey cupcake solo
simple Mickey cupcake

sofia the first cake
Sofia the first cake

Sully & MIke of Monsters Inc. for a birthday cake
Sulley & Mike Wazowski of Monsters Inc. for a birthday cake

Toy Story theme cake
Toy Story theme cake

Toy Story cupcakes featuring the main characters
Toy Story cupcakes featuring the main characters

another cupcake order with main characters as toppers
another cupcake order with main characters as toppers

Oh, it’s all fun to infinity and beyond!

thanks for viewing 😉