Posted in motivational

Toxic people in your life

Just as environment has its toxins and so is humanity.

In the Philippines, Mental health has a negative connotation so I’ll be using emotional and mental health interchangeably.

“People inspire you, or they drain you

— pick them wisely.”

Hans F. Hansen

What is a Toxic Person?

Toxicity is not considered an illness but there could be underlying causes or trauma behind their toxicity. But how will you know if they are toxic? A toxic person is anyone whose behavior gives negativity and upset to your life. They consistently cause you a negative response and you feel uncomfortable around them.

Before I give you the types, here are toxic behaviors you watch out for;

  • Negativity 
  • Cruelty
  • Gossip
  • Victim Syndrome
  • Drama
  • Craziness
  • Constant lying 
  • Being Manipulative 
  • Enjoy Others Suffering
  • Never Taking Ownership (non-admission of faults) 
  • Refusing to Apologize
  • Being Judgmental
  • Unreliable 
  • Inconsiderate

Just to be clear, we are all imperfect in one way or another. The difference with toxic people is that they “always” manifest the behaviors mentioned above and has destroyed relationships and brought conflicts.

Toxic people defy logic

Forbes.com

I’m studying Psychology because I’d like to know how to deal with different kinds of people. As an entrepreneur, I face a myriad of people everyday. Not to pat myself at the back, but I know I’m a good-hearted person so I need to protect myself and set boundaries. I believe that truly toxic ones are not worth my time and I feel like a portion of my life is deducted or shortened as I deal with them.

Believe it or not, there are 10 types of toxic people. Yes! that many. Maintain your peace and emotional health by being aware of their kind.

10 Types of Toxic People

  1. The Gossiper – we have a term here in the Philippines – “Marites” not sure how they derived that name but gossiper a.k.a. Marites is on the top of the list. What’s sad is they derive pleasure from talking about other people and they seem to celebrate with others’ misfortunes.
  2. The Temperamental – they seem to have anger management issues. It’s also difficult to deal with them as they don’t know how to handle their own emotions and can become explosive.
  3. The Victim – they see themselves as victims. Some may shower you with (superfluous) gifts, sort of bribery then they will open up to you. And you empathize with them, kind-hearted ones can easily fall for this trap.
  4. The Self-Absorbed – inconsiderate and a total narcissist. Fact check – they’re only using you for their benefit.
  5. The Envious – self explanatory and I’ve met many. Perfect to pair with “Marites” as they try to bring down one’s reputation.
  6. The Manipulator – they are a pro in manipulating those around them to get what they want. Another overlapping sign is when they excessively give you gifts and make you ask the question – “for what?”
  7. The Seductive, Overly-Dramatic Person – quoted this from Psychology Today. They’re fun to be with, often the life of the party. They are charming, seductive, physically attractive and do things to attract attention. They focus a great deal of time on outward appearance but really insecure deep inside.
  8. The Narcissistic-Aggressive Person – another from Psychology Today. Coming from the word – narcissism, these individuals are abusive, verbally or physically. They are selfish and aggressive, tend to be adventurous and risk-takers.
  9. The Judgemental – have you heard of the saying – “don’t rain on my parade” The judgemental are quick to tell you what’s wrong about your decision. They only see your faults and look down on others. Nothing is ever good enough for them.
  10. The Arrogant – arrogance is false-confidence and always masks insecurities.

Everything begins with awareness.

If you know someone who is toxic and there’s no way to avoid them, don’t fret. You may not be able to physically avoid them but you can set boundaries. First identify them and maintain a safe “emotional” distance. Expect the behavior/s mentioned above so you’ll be well prepared to “rationally” face them. You are now equipped but don’t ever try to engage or mix into the chaos. Call them out if they do something wrong to you.

Always choose peace. Respond and don’t react, I know it’s easier said than done but I’m just being optimistic here. For normal people like you and me, there’s hope and peace.

Author:

Mitch founded Chocolate Chimney year 2009 that made artisanal and decorated cakes and cookies known in the Philippines. She was a young entrepreneur when SM SVI (supermarket) invited her to consign with them and paved way to her business putting up 5 stalls in prime SM Supermarket branches in Metro Manila. She is also passionate about Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, Family and Health. Received Certification in Nutrition and Health from Wageningen University and currently studying Psychology by Yale University, Positive Psychology by University of Pennsylvania.

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